June 2024 || How to Know a Person

For our inaugural book, I've chosen a text that I mentioned in a recent sermon: David Brooks' "How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen.” When we think about Redeemer, we long for church to be a space where people are not only welcomed but earnestly sought after, known, and genuinely loved. But how do we actually do this?!?! Yes, this vision is captivating, but it's undeniably challenging to realize. Despite our fervent DESIRE for deep connection—both to be authentically seen and to see others—it can feel like when I’ve lost my keys…I know WHAT I want, but I’m lost on how to get it!

Compounding this challenge is the contemporary context we live in, characterized by increasing physical disconnection and societal polarization. In 2024, people are more likely to send emojis than have face-to-face convos, it's like we're playing a never-ending game of emotional hide-and-seek. We’re more “connected” than any generation, yet incredibly lonely. Ugh…we need help.
 
In navigating these complexities, Brooks' insights offer invaluable guidance and illumination, equipping us to navigate the intricacies of human connection with grace and understanding. This dude is like the Sherlock Holmes of human connection. Armed with his trusty magnifying glass and a knack for witty observations, he's here to guide us through the maze of human relationships with humor, grace, and a touch of sarcasm. So, carve out somet ime in your schedule, grab your reading glasses (shoutout to the over-40 crowd) and get ready for an insightful entertaining read and maybe even a few "aha" moments along the way.

Things I loved from the book:

1. Highlighting the Importance of SEEING Others
Brooks' central premise is the importance of truly seeing and understanding others. This resonates with the truth of seeing others as made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). When we grasp that every soul is a masterpiece crafted in the divine image, suddenly the whole "love your neighbor" stuff makes a lot more sense! By SEEING others, we have the opportunity to move towards them in love!

2. Compassion Towards Others
Brooks emphasizes the need for compassion, which are core values displayed by Christ. Jesus modeled this throughout His ministry, showing compassion to the marginalized, healing the sick, and listening to those in need. We are called to emulate this behavior, as seen in Ephesians 4:32, which encourages believers to be kind and compassionate to one another.

3. Active Listening and Presence
Active listening…what a concept! The book highlights the importance of active listening and being fully present with others. This mirrors the Christian practice of being present with God in prayer and with others in fellowship. Let’s just be real…most of us stink at this. We LOVE to talk about ourselves, our ideas, our criticisms, but are slow to really listen. James 1:19 advises believers to be quick to listen and slow to speak, reinforcing the value of listening as a way to deeply connect with others…Brooks helps us figure out how to actually do this!!

4. Importance of Small Talk
Ever heard someone groan, "Ugh, small talk? What a waste of time"? It's a sentiment I've encountered more times than I can count. Sure, we have a collective yearning for deeper, more meaningful conversations. But here's the thing: small talk? It’s anything but trivial. In fact, it's the gateway to something greater. Picture this: small talk is like the warm-up act before the main event. It's our chance to dip our toes into the conversational pool, to signal interest, and to lay the groundwork for deeper connections. Brooks helps us see the importance of small talk and even gives some tips!

5. Breaking Down the Walls of Disconnection
Brooks addresses societal issues of disconnection and loneliness, suggesting that genuine human connection is the remedy. This aligns with the understanding of the church as a body (1 Corinthians 12:12-27), where each member is interconnected and supported. We're all part of this crazy, interconnected body called the church and called to bear one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2) and foster meaningful relationships.