Grace that Proceeds and Follows

O Lord, we pray that your grace may always precede and follow after us, that we may continually be given to good works; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

It's always humbling when a children's book speaks Truth that (ahem! pushes glasses up on nose) adult literature has progressed beyond. I'm not surprised anymore, but I've noticed that if I don't keep a curious posture, I might miss it altogether and be like a lot of adults, skipping childlikeness like it's last week's meatloaf.

So, I had to pause when Bayard the Truthspeaker was talking about a son who had strayed away from his father and rebelled. I even read the whole exchange twice for my kids (let me not lie, it was for me).

"Does a tall man deserve to be tall? Does Prince Steren deserve to be the son of a king? A bird might think he deserves to swim as well as a fish, but if he sits moping on the riverbank instead of using the wings God gave him, the fox is going to eat him. Your brother would rather have his own way than be happy. He's thrown away the grace he was given because it's not the grace he had in mind. The Truthspeaker paused to reflect on that. There's not much hope for a person who won't live in the grace he's given."
--Secret of the Swamp King by Jonathan Rogers

The Collect this week is simple, but the real-life  working out of it can sometimes feel complicated. What my mind may grasp and even my actions may reflect, my heart can be sluggish to believe. We know the heart is both deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9) and the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23) a true and literal war within our bones that reveals what we want the most. I want the fruit of the Spirit, but I also really want to be very good at something and to binge watch a cooking show and to forget the laundry and to escape inside a book. My childhood pastor used to reference the often quoted Psalm 37:4, "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" and exhort us that it was our "wanter" that would ultimately be changed to desire what God desires for us.
 
It's taken me decades to begin to understand that changing my "wanter" is not a task God has given me, but a grace that precedes and follows after me. Changing my wanter is not so much a prize I can win, but is accepting the reality that the victory is won and I'm clinging to the cloak of the One who has the crown. Pastor Mac once preached a sermon where he described us arriving in heaven holding on to the edge of Christ's garment. My "wanter" is concerned with clinging, knowing that only my closeness to the Victor will bring me into glory.

The grace of God is the grace that hems me in on all sides. This very gift of grace is initiated and accomplished by the Maker Himself. And we pray we would align with the reality of that truth that we may be given to good works. Because, as we well know, grace without works is dead (James 2:14). And works without grace is a life of striving. The only way to do any good thing is to notice that it is grace that both paves the way and pulls you along the road.
 
I sometimes read books in the philosophy section and recently the book "On the Road with Augustine" has been quite the ride. The journey of faith is a strange one, full of paradox, and this book has been a comfort to me especially knowing that so many have considered the questions that seem to constantly inhabit my mind and my time. In the chapter on freedom, James K.A. Smith quotes Gabriel Marcel,

You are hedged in; you dream of escape; but beware of mirages. Do not run or fly away in order to get free: rather dig in the narrow place which has been given you; you will find God there and everything.

And you, friend, do you question the place and space where God has you? What grace have you been given this day, this season? It may not be the grace you had in mind. Maybe you had in mind different neighbors, a more fulfilling job, a tiny home on a mountain in Spain, a byline in the NYT, or a full family photo on your desk. But, what do you have? Dig in (with me!) to that grace and we will find God (Jeremiah 29:13) together, preceding and following after us.